Why is "The Hills" so addicting?

I hate it. I feel like such a femme. It's soooo good. I get wrapped up in Heidi and Spencer and their dramatic love life. I laugh at Justin Bobby's hipster cool guyness. (or maybe gayness) I ponder at what goes on through Audrina's head. It reminds me of those Simpson's episodes when the camera would go inside Homers head and there would be monkeys dancing or a donkey sitting next to a tree with his tail moving a little bit, just nothing really going on...that's Audrina. And lets talk about the on again off again mustache of LC. Its there one week and its gone the next. Oh and lets not forget Loe and her priceless facial expressions. I love it. I hate it. Damn you MTV for turning me into a Hills fan. I hate myself. I've really lost it.

Damn It

I was so excited about my eggroll...I left my phone in the phoniex airport. I'm sad.

My Spin on Current Issues

Well...Al-Qaida gives us some new dinner theater with a new video from their number 2 Ayman al-Zawahri a.k.a #2 douche bag. Calling Barrack Obama a "house negro" isn't very nice, but would you expect anything more from a man like this? The press is treating this like a complete slap in President-Elect Obama's face. But what did you want the video to say? "Hey, Obama. We love you, you terrorist sympathizing communist." "Lets hug it out and let bygones be bygones." Nope, that's not what is ever going to happen. I really hope that Obama brings the troops home and diverts some to Afghanistan to find these guys and stone them. I'm over Al-Qaida.

Female astronaut loses tool bag in space on her first space mission and first space walk ever. LOL. There goes the neighborhood.

Former Senator Stevens loses Alaskan race. Have fun in jail buddy. You deserve it. And by the way, Alaska see's a democratic Senator for the first time in a long time. Maybe this guy wont spend so much time waking up and watching Russia. (jab at Palin...I don't like her)

Well Dick Cheney is indicted by the Texas Grand Jury (lol...Texas) along with former A.G. Alberto Gonzalez. I can't find much on this, and I don't really know how I feel. I mean, personally I don't know where I stand on torture of prisoners. I leave that decision to the professionals. And secret prisons I believe are a good idea, keep our enemies guessing. So, all I will say is Fuck Cheney and Gonzalez. They are both corrupt as fuck and deserve to rot in jail. We should bring back drawing and quartering. That would make for some interesting dinner theater.

Paulson does not want his 700 billion to go to bailing out homeowners or auto makers but instead just to go to the banks so they will start lending again so we can get into more debt, buy more things we can't afford, get us back to the good ol days of fat, happy, apathetic Americans. I'm sick of that culture. Someone please take this guy out back behind the shed and shoot him. I am fucking over his lies. We need oversight and transparency. And no one in congress will REALLY stand up to this guy. It's a total shame. Congress men and women care more about keeping there jobs then doing the right thing for Americans.

Now I do not agree with any money going to the Big 3 and these guys are back on the hill trying to get yours and my money. You may not believe that, but its true. If its their time to go down, then that's the natural fluidity of life and business. Besides, we don't need SUV's anymore. We need hybrids, hydrogen vehicles, flex fuel. It's too bad American auto makers have fallen behind the curve. Foreign car manufactures don't have American special interest at heart, maybe that's why they are leading the charge in fuel efficient cars.

I am upset with America and yet there is no where else I would rather be. Quite a conundrum.

Wuka Wuka

Quick List of The Best Shows on the Tele

I just wanted to give you my "What I'm watching these days" list. If you don't watch these programs, your missing the boat and...well...your dumb. Or maybe I'm dumb.

Mondays

My Own Worst Enemy- That's right. With Christian Slater. Spy thriller fun.
The Hills-because of its awesomeness.

Tuesday

Fringe-new show on Fox. Yes it has Pacey from Dawson's Creek and yes he's awesome.
The Shield- OMG so good, but next week is the series finally and I'm sad.

Wednesday

I used to watch Real World/Road Rules Gauntlet but now that it's over, I just read.

Thursday

The Office- Given
It's always Sunny in Philadelphia- Maybe the greatest show on television ever...GREEN MAN!!

Friday

You can usually find me at such fine establishments as Sutra, Tentations, maybe Chronic Cantina. All the great OC spots to get KRNK.

Saturday

Just a repeat of Friday night. I know how to have a good time...not really.

Sunday

Extreme Makeover Home Edition-only so I can have a good cry.
It's almost 24 time so...FVCK YEA!!


And finally...

Everyday I watch

The Daily Show

The Colbert Report

The O'reilly Factor

Anderson Cooper

Mad Money

The Closing Bell
&
Larry King...I'm waiting for the day he dies on air. (that's bad to say...but it's kind of true)

After writing this, I just realized how much time I waste a week watching TV. It's 13 1/2 hours.

WOW

I'm gone for one day and the Vice President get indicted for prisoner abuse. Holy Balls!!! I will write about this tomorrow. I am way to tired.

Today is My Day

A lot of people ask what I do for work. Well, I am a longshoreman. Then they ask what that is and I try to explain but most of the time they think I'm full of shit and slowly turn around. That's OK. I won't take the time to explain it, but what I will say is because of our down economy, it is uber slow. So, I have to take a few part time jobs with flexible schedules. This brings me to today's blog. Because today, Hollywood gets their first look at this pretty face. That's right, I got a job as a movie extra, and today I am working on some television show.

Now, I will take the time to explain what will become of me and what will not.

1. Will you see me in next weeks US Weekly magazine?

No

2. Will I feel morally superior after the camera films me?

Oh god yes...that's just a given.

3. Will I be bigger then Josh Hartnett?

Only if I can score a role at a High School where aliens invade. I feel like I got a 50/50 chance on that one.

4. Will I get my own reality show type Hills/Laguna Beach show?

I'm going to go ahead and say yes. Because I'm pretty.

Finally...

5. Will I automatically become Jewish today?

Shalom

Wish me luck. I'm excited.

Hoist the Colors High

Yo, ho, haul together,
hoist the Colors high,
heave, ho,
theives and beggars,
never say we die.

The king and his men
stole the queen from her bed
and bound her in her Bones.
The seas be ours
and by the powers
where we will we'll roam.

Yo, ho, haul together,
hoist the Colors high.
Heave ho,
thieves and beggars,
never say we die.

Some men have died
and some are alive
and others sail on the sea
– with the keys to the cage...
and the Devil to pay
we lay to Fiddler's Green!

The bell has been raised
from it's watery grave...
Do you hear it's sepulchral tone?
We are a call to all,
pay head the squall
and turn your sail toward home!

Yo, ho, haul together,
hoist the Colors high...
Heave ho,
thieves and beggars,
never say we die.